I’ve had a couple of cars in my time that needed a “specialty tool” to open things up.

The last car that needed a “specialty tool” was our Honda Civic. It was a great car. It served us well. But I needed a pair of pliers, specifically needle nose pliers, to open the hood to this car.

The thing that you would typically pull to open a car hood had broken. So, if I didn’t have these pliers, I couldn’t open the hood.

It’s a tool that’s not typically thought of to open the hood of a car. Yet, it’s the only tool that would open my car’s hood. I knew this, because I drove that car. It was my car. You wouldn’t have necessarily known that you needed to use something different to open up my car’s hood unless you looked closely. I only knew how to open it up because I was in it everyday, I knew my car and what it needed to open it up.

And, here’s the thing…

This is true when it comes to students… when it comes to our own kids. Each student is different. You can’t always use the same tools on every student you come in contact with. Morgan is very different from Carter. I can’t talk to them the same way. The words I use. The tone. The jokes. If I want to connect with both of them, I need to find what works with them. How I like to connect isn’t necessarily the same for Carter or Morgan.

You have to use what works. You have to work to find connection points. Connection points that are ever changing… because our students and kids are growing up. And the only way to know that, is to get to know your students. To take the time to get to know our ever-changing kids. To look closely into their lives and be with them.

If you do that, you’ll discover what you need to open up their lives to you. I can’t promise that it will be easy or that it won’t take time. It’s tough. It’s hard. Sometimes you’ll be frustrated. But as parents, as youth leaders, it’s our job to not give up. It’s our job to push forward and to love them through the tough points. Because in the end, everything that is worth it is rarely easy. And if nothing else, take heart in knowing you’re not alone. Keep pushing. They’re worth it.