There are some things that you try to block from your memory.

Things that are so painful that it shakes you at your core and makes you question everything. I had this happen to me 20 years ago. I was a youth pastor at a small local church in Michigan. It was my first job/church out of college. This particular Sunday we had a parent visit us during our Sunday school hour. Not just any parent, but a parent who was a long standing member and one of the deacons. To say I was nervous was an understatement.

We worked through the lesson I had worked hard on that week and thought it went as well as it could have gone. We finished Sunday school and sat through the church service. After church got over, I stayed around to talk to the kids and other adults. Once we were finished talking and ready to head out, I looked up and noticed that this parent was making his way up to me from the back of the church.

I don’t know what I expected to hear. But what he said destroyed me. “Todd, I feel like God is telling me that you need to quit. Your message was awful. I just don’t think He’s going to use you as a youth pastor.” Then he walked away.

I stood there alone. Crushed. I wish I could tell you that I called him a week later to remind him that we took over a youth group that had five kids and built it up to over 65 kids in a matter of a year. I wish I could tell you that I called him up to remind him of the kids we built relationships with, some of whom we ended up having contact with for over ten years.

I didn’t. The words he spoke to me shook me to my core.

I wish I could say that was the only time I came across someone who has spoken words of hate and hurt to me. But it’s not. And I’m sure there are a few of you that can relate.

Or maybe you can relate to this story. I struggled with self confidence about my weight growing up. When you hear about a story of a kid growing up struggling with weight issues, you might think of a kid who might be massively overweight. You see, for me, I was super skinny… tiny… not strong… sometimes Skeletor-like.

This is a photo of me when I was about 12 years old (I’m the one on the left.) My nickname on my high school baseball team was Keebler… you know, like Keebler the elf. Growing up a super skinny kid was just as hard as growing up as an overweight kid. I wish I could say that being made fun of didn’t affect me. But it did. And I’m sure there are a few of you that can relate.

Maybe you’ve been exactly where I am… either as a kid or as an adult. And whether you have or you haven’t, I want you to see this because it has the power to change your life… check it out:

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
1 John 4:16

The verse above is the foundational truth that we need to keep in mind as we read the next few verses…

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates his brother or sister is a liar. 1 John 4:18-20

Love and Fear. They simply cannot live together. The two cannot co-exist… ever.

Maybe you’ve been where I’ve been. You hear and remember the voices of criticism, of hate… things you’ve tried to block from your memory but fear comes creeping in and starts telling you lies about yourself. Lies like, “You’re not good enough. You’re not strong enough. You’re not beautiful. You’re not loved. You’re not worthy.”

If you’ve been there, or you’re there right now, hear this…

This fear is not from God. It’s from the devil himself. Check this out:

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. Revelation 12:10

The devil would love nothing more than to devour you. He hates God and therefore hates mercy, and grace, and love, and truth. Every fear that you feel and hear in your head is a lie from the father of lies. Check this out:

He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44

Don’t believe the lies. God says you are beautiful. God says you are worthy. Loved. And enough. You are made in the image of God Himself.

I wish I could say that I don’t go back to the dark places of the words that were spoken to me 20 years ago… or even to words that were typed in a message to me three months ago. But every so often I am tempted to dwell on the fear of maybe I’m not good enough… maybe I shouldn’t be following the call of God on my life… if only people knew how messed up I am… they would know for sure I’m not good enough.

And then Jami reminds me “that the enemy uses the lies in our head to try to keep us from doing what we’re called to do.” You see, God gives each of us gifts out of love. And when we think of that, we can cast our fear into the fire as we remember that He loves us… He is love… and fear has no place in us as we call on the name of Jesus to save us and live within our lives.

The reality is that I’m not good enough. But thank God that He is. Thank God that it’s no longer I that am living… but the very Spirit of the living God within me.

And that’s enough. Because God tells me I’m enough. And He is telling you that you are enough. Fear is a liar. The father of lies is the father of fear. But God… God is love and there is no fear in love.