Bigger Than We Could Ever Know
I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up I had a number of fears. Some of those fears would come alive at night, after mom put me to bed. There’s just something about nighttime, the dark, that would open and consume my mind with fear. Once the lights went out, fear would creep into my mind and I’d start to wonder what horrible person was under my bed. And then I’d look across my room and notice my closet door was open. So, as slowly and as quietly as I could, I’d pull back my sheets, silently stand on my bed and jump as far as I could toward my bedroom door landing as quietly as I could. Then I’d run for my life downstairs to where my parents were and tell them I was afraid of who was under my bed and in my closet.
During the daytime, I had no fear of who was under my bed or in my closet. But once the night came, it was a different story. I know now that it was an irrational fear. But as a little boy, that fear overcame me on multiple nights causing me to run for my life.
You know, there’s someone in the Bible who was overcome with fear and ran for his life as well. Check this out, it’s found in 1 Kings 19, verse 3:
“Elijah was afraid and ran for his life…” 1 Kings 19:3a
If you’re like me and this is all you read or all you hear, you’re saying to yourself, “Why did he run for his life? Why was he afraid?” Surely he was being chased by some wild animal. Or maybe he was fleeing hundreds of troops from an army out to kill him. But it wasn’t for either of those reasons. Check this out… He was running because of a threat from a woman! Check this out:
“Now Ahab (the king) told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.” 1 Kings 19:1, 2
And so Elijah, upon hearing this, became overwhelmed with fear and ran for his life. But it’s interesting to me that, one chapter before in chapter 18, we see the courage of Elijah. In chapter 18 he wasn’t afraid of Jezebel. He knew that Jezebel, who happened to be the king’s wife, was killing off the Lord’s prophets… people like Elijah. And what did he do in response? He summoned the king, Ahab, and confronted him.
“When he (king Ahab) saw Elijah, he said to him, “Is that you, you troubler of Israel?” “I have not made trouble for Israel,” Elijah replied. “But you and your father’s family have. You have abandoned the Lord’s commands and have followed the Baals. Now summon the people from all over Israel to meet me on Mount Carmel. And bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table.” 1 Kings 18:17-19
You see, the very prophets of Baal that Elijah was calling out, were Jezebel’s very prophets. She installed the very prophets whom Elijah was calling out. And so the king sent word throughout all of Israel and assembled the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel. And through his faith in the Lord, Elijah called out to the people saying if the Lord is God, follow Him; but if Baal is God, follow him. And then, Elijah set the challenge…
It was a simple challenge. He told the prophets of Baal to choose a bull, cut it into pieces and put it on wood but don’t set fire to it. Then Elijah would take the other bull and do the same. Once each bull was prepared, cut into pieces and placed on wood, Elijah told the Baals to call on the name of their god and then Elijah would call on the name of the Lord. The god who answers by sending fire is the true God.
The prophets of Baal called on the name of Baal from morning till noon. “O Baal, answer us!” they shouted. But there was no response. No answer. No fire. And they began to dance around the alter they made. At noon, Elijah began to taunt them… all 450 prophets of Baal. “Shout louder he said. Surely he’s just deep in thought, busy or traveling.” The prophets of Baal kept shouting and even began to cut themselves. They did this until evening.
At this point, Elijah was like, “Enough,” and called everyone over to him. He repaired the alter of the Lord that was in ruins, chose twelve stones and built an alter with them. He arranged the wood and placed the bull on the alter. Then, he instructed the people to fill four large jars with water and pour it on the offering and wood. They did this three times! How many of you know that if something is soaked with water that it’s pretty impossible to light it on fire!? And then Elijah prayed to the Lord and the fire from Heaven fell and burned up the sacrifice, to wood, the stones, the soil and sucked up all of the water that was in the trench! Then when the people saw this, they fell on their faces and cried, “The Lord - He is God!” And then Elijah instructed the people to seize the prophets of Baal, and had them brought down to the valley and killed there.
450 prophets of Baal. The prophets that Jezebel herself had picked. He stood up to them. Made them look like fools. And then had the enemies of God killed. All without flinching. In one moment, he stood tall… strong… courageously. And in the next instant, we find Elijah running for his life in the desert praying that he might die. Check this out:
“…while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.” 1 Kings 19:4, 5
Four words. “I have had enough.” He wanted to give up so bad that he wanted to just die. Emotionally tired. Physically drained. He preferred to give up and die. Just a short time ago he was facing down 450 prophets of Baal. And now, for whatever reason, he was running in fear, wanting to give up and die. Maybe you can relate. Maybe that’s you right now. You’re tired. Exhausted. And you’re saying to God, “I have had enough!” But God had a different plan for Elijah, and God has a different plan for you.
And so, the Angel of the Lord woke Elijah up twice to eat and drink. And after the second time, Elijah traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. Once he reached Horeb, he went inside a cave where he spent the night.
It’s on the road of misery where God often meets us. In the middle of our fear and running… there God is right in front of us asking us this question like He asks Elijah in verse nine:
“And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 1 Kings 19:9
God didn’t have to hear Elijah to know the answer. Just like when God asked Adam and Eve where they were in the garden. He knew where they were. And He knew why Elijah was spending the night in a cave. The question wasn’t for God. The question was for Elijah. It was so that Elijah could hear his answer out loud to himself. Sometimes God asks us questions that He knows the answers to so that we can gain His perspective on the answers we give when we hear them out loud.
And then Elijah replied in verse 10,
“I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.” 1 Kings 19:10
All alone and on the run, Elijah thought he was the only prophet of the Lord left. And just like Elijah, in our trouble, in our despair, in our thoughts, we can often feel like we’re all alone… That there’s no one left to walk with us through our fears and path were on. But check out God’s response.
“The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 1 Kings 19:11-13
You see, God wasn’t in the great and powerful wind. God wasn’t in the earthquake. God wasn’t even in the fire. It was in the gentle whisper that God chose to be in. I would have expected God to be in the mighty things. The powerful things. But God wasn’t in any of those things. He was in the unexpected. He was in something Elijah had to be quiet enough to hear… a gentle whisper… something unexpected. Many times when we’re going through pain and fear and we feel all alone, God shows up in the unexpected moments. Moments where we need to be quiet enough to hear or see Him. What’s true in Elijah’s life, is true in our life as well.
And then God asked the question again… “What are you doing here?” Elijah had the same response. And then we come to verses 15 through 18 where God says something unexpected. Check this out:
“The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.” 1 Kings 19:15-18
Go back the way you came!? What!? No, no, no. I can’t go back the way I came. Don’t you understand… pain and fear and despair are back that way. Hurt and conflict and uncertainty are back that way. I can’t go back that way God! But God says, “I know.” “But if you go back the way you came, I’ve got a different plan for you.” You see, for Elijah, God was up to something bigger than Elijah could ever have imagined. And what’s true for Elijah, is true for us…
God is always up to something bigger than we could ever know.
You see, God had a plan for Elijah. God told Elijah to anoint Hazael king over Aram. He told Elijah to anoint Jehu king over Israel. And he told Elijah to anoint Elisha to succeed him as prophet. Then, as a result, these three men would see to it that anyone who seeks to harm Elijah. And God had one more thing for Elijah… He was like, “Remember when you told me you are all alone? Ya, you’re not. You’ve got seven thousand friends in Israel who haven’t bowed down to the false god, Baal.”
God is always up to something bigger than we could ever know. And in God’s timing, He will reveal His plan to us. You see, when you’re on the run… running for your life… running from your pain and despair… you can’t fulfill the calling and mission God has on your life. You’re running for your life when instead you’re meant to live your life. So instead of running for or from your life, run to God because He is always up to something bigger than we could ever imagine. We just have to quiet ourselves enough to be able to hear and see God’s plan.
What Is It?
I miss the younger years of parenting. Not me being younger. But the kids being younger. Don’t get me wrong, I love parenting teenagers. As a parent, that’s my sweet spot. But I miss when they were two, three, four and five years old.
When they were that young, everything was new to them. And it was fun helping them experience those new things. Like jumping off the side of a pool. As a parent, you know the fun and joy they will experience. But for them, they haven’t experienced that joy quite yet. And so their focus was on the fear they feel. They’d look at me. Look at the ledge and the drop to the water. Then they’d look back at the cement they were standing on and would start to walk backwards to what was familiar. But after a few words to make them feel better and helping them “jump” into the water, they’d eventually trust their mommy and daddy and jump themselves.
Then, in the very same summer after trusting their daddy and jumping into the pool, I remember taking a trip to a water park with friends. You know what’s at water parks, right? Yup. Water slides. Once again, as a parent, I could look at that slide and my kids and know the joy they’d experience going down that slide into a pool of water. So I took the kids up to the top of the slide, talking up the excitement and how fun and cool it was going to be to slide down the water slide into a pool of water. But once we got up to the top of the slide, fear crept back in and they insisted on not going down the water slide. They instead wanted to go back down the stairs to the familiarity of what they already knew.
I don’t suggest this as a parent, but when Carter was four or five, I actually picked him up, sat him down, then pushed him down the slide as he screamed throughout the process. Once down, he came running back up to go down the slide by himself.
Time and time again through different experiences our kids would have to learn to trust and depend on their parent over and over again even though we’d proven trustworthy through previous experiences. Time and time again they’d crave and desire the familiar over choosing to depend and trust the call of their mommy and daddy. That doesn’t change with age. And it hasn’t changed throughout the years. What is true now, was and is true hundreds of years ago.
Check this out:
The whole Israelite community set out from Elim and came to the Desert of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after they had come out of Egypt. In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death. Exodus 16:1-3
Facing the question of where their next meal would come from made them question everything. The Scripture says, “they grumbled against Moses and Aaron.” I believe this is the first reference to a people being “hangry.” Only, it was more than simply being hangry. The Israelites actually wished they were back living as slaves in Egypt.
At this point, the Israelites had already experienced a number of miracles from the Lord. He had turned bitter water that they couldn’t drink into sweet water by having Moses throw a piece of wood into the water. And bigger still, they had just witnessed the Lord parting the Red Sea allowing the Israelites to walk across on dry land with a wall of water to their right and to their left. Once the Israelites had crossed, the Lord allowed the sea to flow again, washing the entire army of Pharaoh to their death.
But now, instead of trusting and having faith in the Lord, they begin to worry that they would die in the desert from hunger and they began to wish for the familiarity of what they had known. And they Lord heard the Israelites grumbling.
Then the Lord said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. Exodus 16:4
Moses also said, “You will know that it was the Lord when he gives you meat to eat in the evening and all the bread you want in the morning, because he has heard your grumbling against him. Exodus 16:8
In the midst of their worry and their grumbling the Lord heard them and decided to provide for the Israelites once again even as they were grumbling against Him. But this is the Lord’s character. You see, back in Exodus 13, as the Israelites were leaving Egypt, God decided to lead them on a longer path through the Red Sea instead of a shorter path through the land of the Philistines because God knew that if the Israelites faced war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.
Even when the Israelites didn’t know it, God was still looking out for and taking care of them. And, in the midst of their fear and grumbling of where their next meal would come from, God would still keep that commitment to the Israelites.
As I look back over my life, there have definitely been times where I can see how God took care of me… exactly when I didn’t even know it. Protection from dumb decisions I made as a teenager. Doors closing which led to better doors opening. The list could go on and on. And I’m sure, if you look back on your life, you would see the same thing.
So, here the Israelites are. Grumbling against a God who has already provided visual miracles for their safety. Grumbling against a God who had already provided protection that they didn’t know about. And now, Aaron is standing before them, speaking to the whole Israelite community. And as they looked toward the desert… the desert they’d be wondering through for 40 years… and what did they see?
The glory of the Lord appearing in the cloud.
While Aaron was speaking to the whole Israelite community, they looked toward the desert, and there was the glory of the Lord appearing in the cloud. Exodus 16:10
In the midst of their fear. In the midst of their grumbling. In the midst of their worry and their desire to just go back to what is familiar. In the midst of their desert, the Lord God was there with them. What is true hundreds of years ago is still true today. While God was with the Israelites in their desert, God through Jesus and the Holy Spirit is with us in our desert. You see, God doesn’t just lead us through our desert, He’s there with us in it.
And then the Scripture goes on to say…
That evening quail came and covered the camp, and in the morning there was a layer of dew around the camp. When the dew was gone, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor. When the Israelites saw it, they said to each other, “What is it?” For they did not know what it was. Moses said to them, “It is the bread the Lord has given you to eat. This is what the Lord has commanded: ‘Everyone is to gather as much as they need. Take an omer for each person you have in your tent.’” Exodus 16:13-16
The word, manna, literally means, “What is it?” That’s what the Israelites first reaction to what the Lord provided. Manna is the clear example of the Israelites’ dependence on God was. They had to rely on Him every day for 40 years just to survive. But this isn’t anything new, it’s just different. They had to rely on God to change Pharaoh’s mind to let them go. And when Pharaoh freaked out and changed his mind again, the Israelites had to rely on God to escape from Pharaoh’s army. Time and time again we see the Israelites’ dependence on God while in their desert. And when God says, “Trust me” to the Israelites one more time, we see them again wanting to go back to the familiar out of fear and worry. But God, each time, provided for the needs of the Israelites with just enough for each day… with exactly what they needed to survive for that day.
You see, what’s true hundreds of years ago, is true now…
God is acting on our behalf even when we don’t know it. God shows up in the midst of our desert. And God provides for all of our needs when we follow His Word, His guidance and keep His commands. I pray that you see the Lord and choose Him and His Word even as you read this now.
You Don't Have to Fight Alone
This spring break we headed back down to Florida. In the past, we’ve gone to the Gulf side to Siesta Key. This time, since it was just with our immediate family, we decided to go to areas we haven’t been to. So Jami and I took the kids to Fort Lauderdale, Key West and ended in Miami.
One of the things we got to do has been on my bucket list for quite some time… An airboat tour of the Florida Everglades. The tour guide was amazing. The boat ride was crazy fun. And seeing alligators in their natural habitat was stupid cool. It’s one thing to see them at the zoo. It’s something completely different to see how they live and what they do naturally in the wild… in their natural habitat.
Florida was a great family getaway. We had a blast. And then… back to reality where life has a way of catching up to you.
As I sit down to write this, I’m tired. Exhausted. Mentally spent. Physically drained. Jami’s in the same spot… probably more so. You see, just prior to heading out for spring break, we received news that Jami’s biopsy on a nodule near her thyroid tested positive for Thyroid cancer. The genetic testing indicated that there is a 95% chance that it’s cancer.
This biopsy result is a culmination of about a four-week wait to find out the definitive results. Two weeks to learn that the initial biopsy was suspicious. And another two and a half weeks for the genetic testing to get back. And now, a few more weeks of waiting for Jami’s surgery on May 7 to have her Thyroid removed.
The initial thoughts of her doctors indicate that it’s papillary cancer… otherwise known as the “good kind” of thyroid cancer. While this lends to a great diagnosis, there’s still the worry for when Jami goes in for her surgery.
I’ve never been in a physical battle… in war. But the last five weeks and going into the next few weeks before surgery has and definitely will be a battle… physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.
And so, there are things we know at this point about Jami’s results. And there are still some unknowns that we can’t know until the surgery itself.
But we also know that, throughout human history, God has told His people that He goes before us. The fight we face was never meant to be fought alone. As the Israelites were fleeing the Egyptians, He parted the Red Sea so that they could cross then allowed the sea to close on the pursuing Egyptians. As the Israelites were wondering in the wilderness for 40 years He provided food to keep them alive and never allowed their clothes to wear out. And just before the Israelites were to cross the Jordan into the promise land, He renewed the covenant with His people through Moses. He was reminding Moses and the Israelites of everything He had done for them. And then He said this...
When you reached this place, Sihon king of Heshbon and Og king of Bashan came out to fight against US, but WE defeated them. Deuteronomy 29:7
It's not lost on me that God could have said, ..."came out to fight against YOU, but YOU defeated them." He didn't. The words He chose were specific and on purpose. Jami and our family is facing a battle. A fight. Physical. Mental. Emotional. And spiritual. It's clear throughout Scripture that we, as God's creation, don't have to fight alone. He is out before us. Fighting with us.
I don’t know what battle you’re currently facing… Whether it’s mental, physical, emotional or all of the above. But I do know this… as God’s creation, you don’t have to fight alone. Time and time again we can see as we read God’s Word, that He is fighting for us… He is fighting out in front of us… And He is fighting alongside us.
And secondly, God provides people to stand beside us. Check this out:
When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword. Exodus 17:12-13
You see, when Moses’ hands grew tired and dropped, the Amalekite army would begin to win the battle. But when Moses’ hands remained up, the Israelites would gain the advantage. The problem… Moses couldn’t keep his hands up by himself. He needed his friends to come alongside him for help. And that’s ok. We all need help at times. And God knows that. Even as God fights before us and alongside us, He also provides people to stand beside us as well.
And if you’re not currently in a battle… if you aren’t facing a battle, you might be the friend that God provides to walk alongside someone who does.
You don’t have to fight alone.
What Are You Facing
I’m the oldest of three boys.
Being the oldest means a few things. One, it means you get to test the waters in every area of life and how far you can go before you get in trouble with mom and dad. It also means that your the child whom mom and dad are the most strict. There are also some fun things like getting to be the first to drive and stay up the latest.
Being the oldest growing up in my family also meant that I went before my younger siblings in school. I can’t tell you how many times I had drilled into my head that I was setting the tone for when my brothers went to school… elementary, middle and high school. Everything I did, everything I said, would reflect on how the teachers and administrators looked at my younger brothers. If I acted a fool, then my two younger brothers would automatically be labeled a fool as they stepped foot into the place I had walked before. And so, I walked through life ahead of my brothers doing my best to prepare the path they were to walk in each of their schools.
Another time when I went out ahead is while we were in the Grand Canyon. I would walk ahead of my kids as we hiked and climbed, taking their hand as they took their next step. Were they scared? Sure. Were they nervous? Absolutely. But their dad went ahead of them to help them deal with and overcome their fears and to let them know that what is unknown to them is known to me.
This idea that someone has gone before us is a powerful one.
Jesus knew this. check this out:
… ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see Him.’ Matthew 28:7
Can you imagine what the disciples were thinking and feeling? Their Rabbi had just been killed on a cross between two thieves. The Messiah, Jesus, had just been murdered. Not because of any crime He had committed. A riotous crowd filled with anger called for Jesus to be put to death. Were they scared? Were they nervous? Two women who went to see the tomb of Jesus are now telling the disciples that Jesus isn’t there and that an angel said Jesus is going ahead of them to Galilee.
You see, this isn’t the first time they heard that Jesus was going to go ahead of them to Galilee. On the night that Jesus was arrested, He told the disciples that He was going to go ahead of them into Galilee after He had risen from the dead. Matthew 26:32
Were the disciples worried about what would be waiting for them in Galilee? Jesus’ trial was brutal… people screaming… they came and arrested Him for no reason… the people were angry and wanted blood.
There were so many unknowns that they were walking into. But Jesus promised that He would go ahead of them into Galilee… into the unknown. That’s what Galilee stands for to me.
This idea that someone has gone before us is a powerful one.
What are you facing right now? Maybe you have children that are struggling academically, socially or with depression because of the separation they find themselves in from their friends and other kids. Maybe you were just laid off from work and now you don’t know how you’re going to pay your bills. Maybe the marriage you thought could last anything is now on its last leg and you don’t know if it can be repaired. Or maybe you’re waiting for test results from a biopsy or scan and you’re left wondering what you’re walking into.
This idea that someone has gone before us is a powerful one.
And it’s been a promise of God that He has fulfilled time and time again.
The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
I don’t know what your Galilee is, but I do know this… Jesus has gone ahead of you there. You see, it’s not that God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle… it’s that when we call on the name of Jesus, we can be assured that He has gone before us to our Galilee and has promised to be our strength as we walk into our Galilee together.
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Isaiah 43:1-3
Spiders and the Web of Fear
So, I'm driving home the other day...
It was a great day to drive home with my car windows down. Radio was up. I was singing... loudly. The people in the car next to me were staring as I pulled up to a stop light. As I was in the middle of doing a drum solo on my steering wheel, this little thing caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. As it was running across my windshield, out of reach of my wipers, I audibly said, "Noooo," in a slow motion type of voice. (At least that's what it sounded like to me.) At that point, it was a race. A race to see if I could get my windows up faster than a spider could get inside my car. Luckily for me, I won. The spider was denied entrance into my vehicle.
But for the next 40 minutes, on my way home, I chose to drive with my windows up. I really wanted to enjoy the weather. I so wanted to have my windows down to enjoy the fresh air. But I let a fear of spiders win out. I let the fear of something so small prevent me from doing something I really wanted to do.
I've noticed something, I've let this happen in other areas of my life as well. I've let fear be the determining factor in whether or not I do something I know God is asking me to do. I've let fear prevent me from trying new things. I've let fear prevent me from being the person that God's called me to be. I've seen it in my kids, Carter and Morgan. I've seen it happen in the lives of students. And it sucks. Because, in the end, for me at least, I look back in disappointment and sadness. I look back with regret. But, that's what fear does. It traps us in its sticky web and sucks the life out of us.
You see...
I could have crushed the spider had he entered my car. He was a lot smaller than me. It wouldn't have even been a match. But I let fear rule my world for that 40 minutes. And I've let fear rule my world in bigger areas of my life and endeavors.
But, here's the thing...
God can crush whatever we're afraid of - whatever fear that holds us captive. But we've got to open the window and let God do what God does. Because that fear, whatever it is, is a lot smaller than God. It's not even a match.
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but He has given us a spirit of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7 (Amplified)
Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:3-4 (NIV)
One last thing... I've noticed that when I'm letting fear rule my life, I'm making it out to be about me. When in reality, this life isn't about me - it's about God. Everything I have... everything I have to offer... talents and abilities... comes from God. And when I turn my focus off of me and focus on God, my fear turns off.
We Have A Dud
I've wanted a lab for quite some time.
What I would call a real dog. A big dog. So we finally jumped and got Lola, a charcoal lab, just over six months ago. She’s been amazing. She goes pretty much everywhere with us… on walks, to the park and to the beach. She absolutely loves all of it… or so we thought.
So a few weeks ago we went to spend the afternoon at Warren Dunes Sate Park in Michigan. It’s got a great beach and they allow dogs as well. We thought that since Lola loved the creek water in the other parks, she’d love the water at Lake Michigan. So we got our things set up, put our blankets and chairs down, and Carter and Morgan took Lola down to the water and threw the ball. Lola ran up to where the water met the sand and as soon as the wave crashed ashore, Lola went running the other direction.
The kids threw the ball a few more times, and each time Lola ran away and wouldn’t go after the ball. After about the seventh time, Carter came back to us and declared,
“We have a dud!”
And to make things worse, just 25 yards down the beach there was another lab that was running into the lake to chase down its frisbee. It was comical, sad and embarrassing all at the same time. What if we really did have a dud!?
Lola loved the water everywhere else. But she was super afraid of the sound and crash of the wave coming ashore. She just couldn’t push past her fear. But Carter and Morgan weren’t done trying.
As I looked towards the water, I could see Carter carrying our 70 pound lab out past the waves and into the lake. It was one of the most funny, ridiculous things I have witnessed. A 15 year old boy carrying his 70 pound lab into the lake all while the other lab was doing its, well, lab thing of running into the water to play fetch. I didn’t think this was gonna work. The first time the kids took Lola out in the water, she freaked out and ran back to the shore. But Carter and Morgan followed her back to where she was, picked her up again, and carried her back into the water. This time, they sat down in the water with her and petted and comforted her. Lola played for a couple of seconds then ran back to the shore. They tried to throw the ball again, but no luck. So, Carter again, picked her up, and walked her into the water. This time he walked her to her ball. She grabbed her ball and ran back to the shore.
The kids followed her back, grabbed the ball. This time, as they threw the ball, Morgan ran out into the water after it and… Lola followed her… past the waves, into the water to retrieve her ball.
Success! “We don’t have a dud!”
The rest of the afternoon was more of the same… Lola living her best life, chasing her ball out into the lake. I don’t think she has ever had as much fun as she did after she conquered her fears with the kids help.
Parenting can look super similar to this situation. There’s been countless situations where Carter and Morgan have been fearful of something. At times, they have stepped past fear and have overcome to do what they really wanted to do. Other times, they’ve given in to fear and have lived with regret for a short time. It’s painful to watch them live with regret. It’s painful to watch them give in to their fears knowing that what’s on the other side is great. But that’s life. We can only be there to hold their hand and carry them whether they overcome their fear or give in to it. The choice is completely theirs and theirs alone.
As parents… as adults… we have our own fears. And while we have friends and relatives to help us through. The ultimate parent, Jesus, is there to carry us through the fear of the crashing waves sometimes called life, just as Carter carried Lola. We just celebrated Mother’s Day yesterday. And with parenting, there are countless fears that we have to walk through. I don’t know what fears you are facing, but know this, Jesus will carry you through them. Check this out:
For I am the Lord you God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13
If you allow Him to carry you, Jesus will never drop you. He will help you through your fear to overcome. Because with Jesus,
There are no duds!
The Ruth Tooth Extraction
This was Carter when he was seven years old.
For a week prior to this video, I was coaching and bribing and coaxing Carter into trying to pull his loose tooth out. I’m not sure why he was so fearful of pulling his tooth out. Maybe it was the fear of it hurting. Maybe it was the fear of it possibly bleeding. Maybe it was the fear of change. I even told him that I would tie a string to his tooth and attach it to my car and hit the gas to rip it out. But that didn’t work either. (Actually, that probably made his fear worse.) Whatever it was, Carter would not even attempt to try to pull his tooth out.
So, each night, for seven straight days, I would ask him… “Are you ready yet? Do you think your tooth is ready yet?” And for seven straight evenings he would reply with a, “No.” No follow up questions. Don’t pass go. This tooth ain’t ready. Carter knew the tooth was going to come out. He had lost two teeth before… two teeth that literally fell out on their own because the adult tooth pushed them straight out. So he knew that, at some point, the tooth was going to be “lost.”
You see, he wanted this one to be different. He, deep down, wanted to pull this one out on his own. He wanted to be the one to pull the tooth out and not let it simply be pushed out by the adult tooth coming in. But, he was scared. He knew that what he wanted to do was good. It was natural. And it was needed for the next step to occur. But still, night after night… day after day he was scared and wasn’t ready…
Until the night of the video.
That night, he said… “I think I want to try dad.” And, like any good dad would say, I said, “Wait, let me get my phone to record it coming out!” The video that you watched is just one minute and 11 seconds. The actual time the it took from start to finish to get the tooth out… just over two hours. Two hours of coaching. Two hours of encouraging. Two hours of making jokes to ease his nerves. Two hours of standing by his side and he pushed through the fear to extract that “fiesty” tooth as he put it.
This isn’t the first time that Carter has been scared to try to accomplish something. And it’s not going to be the last. My job as a parent is to stand by him and help him push past the fear if he chooses. To let him know that I’m by his side, cheering him on.
As a parent, we can see the other side. We can see that everything will be ok. It’s so easy to get frustrated by that. To not understand where they are at in their fear and to only focus on the end goal. But as a child, they can’t see that end goal. They can only see the immediate place where they’re at… fear. It’s our job to help them walk through that place to come out on the other side not only ok, but also a better person having learned to walk to the other side of fear, despite their fear.
You know, God does the same thing with us as well. Sure, he doesn’t physically hold our hand. But He’s right there beside us giving us comfort as we walk to the other side of our fear, despite our fear. Check this out:
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
Our God has promised to be with us wherever we go. Whether it’s during this time of quarantine or after, our God will never leave us. He is there. For you. For me. For us. As you walk with your child through their fears, despite their fears, know that our God is doing the same with us… through our fears, despite our fears.